Comments on: How to Take a Punch (Without Hitting Back or Sinking to the Mat) http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/ Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:24:11 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Dwight http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-3021 Dwight Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:06:04 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-3021 I'm new to the blogging scene and it was a huge shock to me that one of my posts received a whopping 50 comments overnight. I've never experienced such a thrashing in my whole life! It was awfully painful, but it also pointed out a lot of things I haven't thought about. Thanks so much for this post; it puts things into perspective. I’m new to the blogging scene and it was a huge shock to me that one of my posts received a whopping 50 comments overnight.

I’ve never experienced such a thrashing in my whole life! It was awfully painful, but it also pointed out a lot of things I haven’t thought about.

Thanks so much for this post; it puts things into perspective.

]]> By: The Dark Side of Authority | Copyblogger http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-2883 The Dark Side of Authority | Copyblogger Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:05:47 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-2883 [...] Just realize it’s the nature of the Web. Move decisively, consider the source, and try not to let it bother you. Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. [...]

[...] Just realize it’s the nature of the Web. Move decisively, consider the source, and try not to let it bother you. Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. [...]

]]> By: Happy Birthday To Me | Remarkable Communication http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-745 Happy Birthday To Me | Remarkable Communication Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:27:03 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-745 [...] I could do, since I wasn’t posting as often as I’d like, led directly to posts like How to Take a Punch, The Nice Guy’s Guide to Authority, and The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things [...]

[...] I could do, since I wasn’t posting as often as I’d like, led directly to posts like How to Take a Punch, The Nice Guy’s Guide to Authority, and The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things [...]

]]> By: Sonia Simone http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-278 Sonia Simone Sun, 11 May 2008 21:10:25 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-278 <p>@Evan, I'm the same way about competence. And it's a million times worse if I secretly feel there's some grain of truth to it. Never mind if it's 1% true and 99% bullshit, that 1% will drive me right out of my mind. About the best I can do with it is say, "oh, look, going out of my mind again."</p> <p>@Nadine, I always thought this was an emotional state the French were immune to. :) I do better in public as well, I wonder why? Maybe just because my public persona is a lot more confident than my tender little private self is, and somehow that act actually convinces me?</p> <p>@Karen, I do this a lot in the car. Maybe a little too much. :) There is often shouting involved, but I will say, I always come across as very witty and incredibly right.</p> @Evan, I’m the same way about competence. And it’s a million times worse if I secretly feel there’s some grain of truth to it. Never mind if it’s 1% true and 99% bullshit, that 1% will drive me right out of my mind. About the best I can do with it is say, “oh, look, going out of my mind again.”

@Nadine, I always thought this was an emotional state the French were immune to. :) I do better in public as well, I wonder why? Maybe just because my public persona is a lot more confident than my tender little private self is, and somehow that act actually convinces me?

@Karen, I do this a lot in the car. Maybe a little too much. :) There is often shouting involved, but I will say, I always come across as very witty and incredibly right.

]]> By: Karen Swim http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-277 Karen Swim Fri, 09 May 2008 15:06:46 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-277 <p>Solid advice that I can really use. My current trick is to have a conversation (out loud) and just get it off my chest. No one's listening but me after all and I can say whatever I want. It also allows me to yell, say jerkface or shed a tear. Once it's out I am calm and can really process the criticism and learn from it. </p> Solid advice that I can really use. My current trick is to have a conversation (out loud) and just get it off my chest. No one’s listening but me after all and I can say whatever I want. It also allows me to yell, say jerkface or shed a tear. Once it’s out I am calm and can really process the criticism and learn from it.

]]> By: Nadine http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-276 Nadine Fri, 09 May 2008 00:16:13 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-276 <p>Hi Sonia, have you been spying on me by any chance? The person you are describing is so totally me, me, me.</p> <p>I wonder how, with such brilliant empathy, you could get any criticism. If anyone criticizes you, surely they are the ones who don't get it?</p> <p>I'm older than you, and still working at it. I find that my reaction really depends on my state of tiredness (which is why sleeping on it usually helps a lot - but is this escapism or plain survival instinct?), the context (I take blows far better in public, believe it or not, than when I'm alone -another survival instinct thing?) or when the critic is, by all measurements, a complete idiot (the lazy option, I don't need to fight back).</p> <p>Congratulations for this -again- excellent post. Please consider the bridge is not an option. We need you here.</p> Hi Sonia, have you been spying on me by any chance? The person you are describing is so totally me, me, me.

I wonder how, with such brilliant empathy, you could get any criticism. If anyone criticizes you, surely they are the ones who don’t get it?

I’m older than you, and still working at it. I find that my reaction really depends on my state of tiredness (which is why sleeping on it usually helps a lot – but is this escapism or plain survival instinct?), the context (I take blows far better in public, believe it or not, than when I’m alone -another survival instinct thing?) or when the critic is, by all measurements, a complete idiot (the lazy option, I don’t need to fight back).

Congratulations for this -again- excellent post. Please consider the bridge is not an option. We need you here.

]]> By: Cara Faye http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-275 Cara Faye Fri, 09 May 2008 00:03:10 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-275 <p>For your testimonial file: What a brilliant post :-) Thanks for putting all these useful options altogether at once - have dei.icio.us-ed as the first thing to read next time I'm smarting from a backwards comment.</p> For your testimonial file: What a brilliant post :-) Thanks for putting all these useful options altogether at once – have dei.icio.us-ed as the first thing to read next time I’m smarting from a backwards comment.

]]> By: Evan Hadkins http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-274 Evan Hadkins Thu, 08 May 2008 17:54:03 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-274 <p>Hi Sonia,</p> <p>Well written and on an important topic.</p> <p>Other options:<br /> If you can't be nice, get someone else to do the comment for you.</p> <p>It's possible to heal the past. There are many simple things to do that with a little work make a big difference.</p> <p>I'm sensitive to issues of competence. If people think I'm not a nice person, I think 'OK'. If they question my competence (the arguments or data in a post) I get very narky. This is very much my issue. I've got lots better at dealing with it over the years, but it's still the one I have to watch out for.</p> <p>Also it makes a difference (for me) if there is actually reason in what they say, rather than just 'this sucks' or its many variants.</p> <p>One consoling thought. Others read the comment and see what a jerk they are.</p> <p>Be as kind to yourself as possible - always!</p> Hi Sonia,

Well written and on an important topic.

Other options:
If you can’t be nice, get someone else to do the comment for you.

It’s possible to heal the past. There are many simple things to do that with a little work make a big difference.

I’m sensitive to issues of competence. If people think I’m not a nice person, I think ‘OK’. If they question my competence (the arguments or data in a post) I get very narky. This is very much my issue. I’ve got lots better at dealing with it over the years, but it’s still the one I have to watch out for.

Also it makes a difference (for me) if there is actually reason in what they say, rather than just ‘this sucks’ or its many variants.

One consoling thought. Others read the comment and see what a jerk they are.

Be as kind to yourself as possible – always!

]]> By: Janice C Cartier http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-273 Janice C Cartier Thu, 08 May 2008 10:32:39 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-273 <p>What? We can't just smack 'em around a bit?</p> <p>Seriously good advice on the keep the good stuff in front of you. There is some crazy weird thing out there with people who love to see someone make it, then love to see them taken down. I don't know what to call it but a zillion tabloids support that hunt for blood. And there's that contrariness that can make for a good debate.</p> <p>I totally support GirlPie's position and yours. Consider the source, and consider for a moment maybe there's something there, but lean very heavily on what the good stuff tells you. I call them touchstones. </p> <p>Well, after you've had a good cry...stomped off... ranted, thrown a few things...borrowed some curses..</p> <p>note to self: practice saying thank you to absolute asses..because it actually helps find your weak spots, your triggers...and that's something too.</p> What? We can’t just smack ‘em around a bit?

Seriously good advice on the keep the good stuff in front of you. There is some crazy weird thing out there with people who love to see someone make it, then love to see them taken down. I don’t know what to call it but a zillion tabloids support that hunt for blood. And there’s that contrariness that can make for a good debate.

I totally support GirlPie’s position and yours. Consider the source, and consider for a moment maybe there’s something there, but lean very heavily on what the good stuff tells you. I call them touchstones.

Well, after you’ve had a good cry…stomped off… ranted, thrown a few things…borrowed some curses..

note to self: practice saying thank you to absolute asses..because it actually helps find your weak spots, your triggers…and that’s something too.

]]> By: Shane Greenhough http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch/comment-page-1/#comment-272 Shane Greenhough Thu, 08 May 2008 07:48:28 +0000 http://www.remarkable-communication.com/how-to-take-a-punch-without-hitting-back-or-sinking-to-the-mat/#comment-272 <p>Hey Sonia,<br /> Found you through Copyblogger, where you also comment and post quite frequently... Great post, whether I'm as mentally ill as you or not, its still nice to know that there are those out there suffering with their own instabilities and self-deprecating lacerations.. Thanks, love your comments on other blogs and I'm, so far, loving your blog.... Carry on baring it all.... It's absolutely fantastic... Helps the rest of us validate our own "inadequacies" when we realise we're not alone with them..</p> Hey Sonia,
Found you through Copyblogger, where you also comment and post quite frequently… Great post, whether I’m as mentally ill as you or not, its still nice to know that there are those out there suffering with their own instabilities and self-deprecating lacerations.. Thanks, love your comments on other blogs and I’m, so far, loving your blog…. Carry on baring it all…. It’s absolutely fantastic… Helps the rest of us validate our own “inadequacies” when we realise we’re not alone with them..

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