I do a lot of copyediting, both of books and advertising collateral. I’ll let you in on a secret that still surprises me, although I’ve seen it hundreds of times now. If you looked at the raw work of most professional writers, you’d be pretty underwhelmed.
Professional writers get work because they hit their deadlines, they stay on message, and they don’t throw too many tantrums. Some pros have a great writing voice or a superb style, but as often as not, that gets in the way. When you know that the best word is “prescient,” it’s hard to swallow when an account manager tells you the client won’t know what it means.
Professional writers rely on editors to fix their clunks. Like good gardeners, sensitive editors don’t hack away—we prune and gently shape. When we’ve done a great job, the page looks just like it did before, only better. It’s the page the writer intended to write.
Editing, like writing, takes time to learn. But here are five fixes I make with nearly every project. Learn to make them yourself and you’ll take your writing to a more professional, marketable, and persuasive level.
1. Sentences can only do one thing at a time.
Have you ever heard a four-year-old run out of breath before she can finish her thought? I edit a lot of sentences that work the same way. You need a noun, you need a verb, you might need an object. Give some serious thought to stopping right there.
Sentences are building blocks, not bungee cords; they’re not meant to be stretched to the limit. I’m not saying you necessarily want a Hemingway-esque series of clipped short sentences, but most writers benefit from dividing their longest sentences into shorter, more muscular ones.
2. Paragraphs can only do one thing at a time.
A paragraph supports a single idea. Construct complex arguments by combining simple ideas that follow logically. Every time you address a new idea, add a line break. Short paragraphs are the most readable; few should be more than three or four sentences long. This is more important if you’re writing for the Web.
3. Look closely at -ing
Nouns ending in -ing are fine. (Strong writing, IT consulting, great fishing.) But constructions like “I am running,” “a forum for building consensus,” or “The new team will be managing” are inherently weak. Rewrite them to “I run,” “a forum to build consensus,” and “the team will manage.” You’re on the right track when the rewrite has fewer words (see below).
(If for some insane reason you want to get all geeky about this, you can read the Wikipedia article on gerunds and present participles. But you don’t have to know the underlying grammatical rules to make this work. Rewrite -ing when you can, and your writing will grow muscles you didn’t know it had.)
4. Omit unnecessary words.
I know we all heard this in high school, but we weren’t listening. (Mostly because it’s hard.) It’s doubly hard when you’re editing your own writing—we put all that work into getting words onto the page, and by god we need a damned good reason to get rid of them.
Here’s your damned good reason: extra words drain life from your work. The fewer words used to express an idea, the more punch it has. Therefore:
Summer months
Regional level
The entire country
On a daily basis (usually best rewritten to “every day”)
She knew that it was good.
Very
(I just caught one above: four-year-old little girl)
You can nearly always improve sentences by rewriting them in fewer words.
5. Reframe 90% of the passive voice.
French speakers consider an elegantly managed passive voice to be the height of refinement. But here in the good old U.S. (or Australia, Great Britain, etc.), we value action. We do things is inherently more interesting than Things are done by us. Passive voice muddies your writing; when the actor is hidden, the action makes less sense.
Bonus: Use spell-check
There’s no excuse for teh in anything more formal than a Twitter tweet.
Also, “a lot” and “all right” are always spelled as two words. You can trust me, I’m an editor.
Easy reading is damned hard writing.
~ Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Most of the tips were straight-forward and well written, but thanks for the brushi up. Even though I knew most like writing short paragraphs for the web, reading it again as well as the other examples and suggestions was an excellent idea.
Thanks Simone!
I often tell people in seminars – “My mom taught me, there are three kinds of sentence. While working as a content writer, I discovered another type – perhaps the best of the lot – the Simplest Sentence.” Some of them laugh and some keep silent.
It was nice reading the post and specifically “Sentences can only do one thing at a time”.
Structure
Heres some speaking advice to get you hitting the target;
Sentences can only do one thing at a time.
Have you ever heard a four-year-old run out of breath before she can finish her thought? I edit a lot of sentences that work the same way. You …
to keep it short .. a handy post
Wow, I’m no professional writer (casual blogger perhaps) but this was a very helpful post. Where was this in high school? Heck, where was this in college? This list should be nailed to the top of the WordPress admin panel. Thanks for the post!
I agree with most of this, but as a UK English language professional I would say that we are less bothered about the passive voice than you are in the States. Perhaps it’s because we are closer to the French?!
Interesting grammargirl–maybe it’s that pernicious EU influence!
Thanks for this great post! I found it informative.
Thanks for this, great post, especially on ways to shorten phrases. However, I use ‘alright’ sometimes, and I don’t think it’s TOO badly wrong.
This really helped alot and it made me feel alright with making my writing better! Seriously, those last two word hints, “a lot” and “all right” were the icing on a very informative grammar cake. Thanks!
Absolutely fantastic advice, right up their with Vonnegut’s “pity the reader” set of tips.
Paul, if I can help one person write “a lot” and “all right,” my work is done.
Thanks Tim, high praise indeed!
Sonia,
Thankyou for these easy to use tips. I’ve read many “how to edit” guides but none as clear and practical as this. I’m sticking it on the wall next to my monitor for reference during my future editing sessions.
Regards,
Gary
Some handy tips there. Thanks. I will go back to my blogs and edit like crazy.
Thanks for the brush-up Sonia! I’ve worked as an editor myself, but it’s always nice to see such basic principles outlined clearly.
It can be so hard to apply these to one’s own work!
Your tip #4 reminds me of a needless word that I often hear on the news: “completely” followed by “destroyed.”
Good article.
Terrific advice. Keep it simple, clear and direct. The End.
How to Writes last blog post..Creative Writing 101 by Kurt Vonnegut
I use both “all right” and “alright,” depending on the context. When I mean “all things are right” I use “all right,” and I use “alright” as a synonym for “okay.” They’re subtle differences, but I use each phrase with intention. In my opinion, intentional writing can often beat out other principles – especially when it’s a matter of style, such as word usage and voice.
However, I agree with pretty much everything else, and concur with above commenters that it’s refreshing to see some important principles so clearly laid out.
Beths last blog post..Preschool Desired Results (including information specific to literacy educators)
I’ve Stumbled though several different sites full of writing tips that bored me, yet I found this one to be remarkably helpful (and not boring at all). I will be keeping this in my bookmarks for future reference.
The only thing that bothered me was a sentence in the introduction: “When you know that the best word is “prescient,” it’s hard to swallow when an account manager tells you the client won’t know what it means.” I think that if someone doesn’t know what a word means, they should use a dictionary. It’s how I’ve expanded my vocabulary, and it’s not as if dictionaries are produced by the thousands just for fun.
Either way, thank you for this Sonia.
This has been a fun post to read. I write most of the time in spanish, but the part on the gerunds and participles really got me (they’re wonderful to use) However, it is true that any speech has a terrible kick off if it starts with a gerund. Delicious as it may be to play with time in one’s writing, a present part./gerund sounds weak as a first sentence.
Although I do have an objection. The passive voice shouldn’t be narrowed to a view on how a reader/writer sees himself in the world (i.e the ‘we like action part’). The way I see it, using a passive voice, rather than an active has the purpose of pointing out the importance of the complement, rather than the subject who performs the action. (And the impact this has on the reader).
Thanks for sharing!
Your tips on “passive voice” were most helpful and caused me to rethink my writing. hehe Seriously though… you clarified things immensely! I would stare at green sentences in MS-Word and wonder what it was complaining about.
Remarkable Sonia! Thanks!
I keep your “50 things” blog on my desk to remind me, also!
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So nice to hear from you all!
Copyediting is one of those things that tends to bring out passions, I’ve noticed.
Those of us who love language get very excited about it.
I don’t necessarily agree with the “4. Omit unnecessary words” statement. Sometimes to get the feel or stride of a story “atmosphere” words can/should be used. It’s part of a writers style and can sometimes prevent misunderstandings that can change an important meaning. I know especially in fantasy or romance they can be helpful in getting into the story.
In general this can be helpful, but I don’t like most things that try to be helpful but lump every kind of writing together. Journalism is very different in how it’s written from fiction. And all kinds of fiction are different.
In the last paragraph you lose all my respect. Advice consists of information, not orders, and “alright” is perfectly alright, as are “albeit”, “whatsoever” and “nonetheless”.
Editors can be dangerous. I’ve had editors try to replace words in texts of mine with words of a different meaning, even in ways that destroy the meaning of the work.
D., sorry to lose all your respect (wow), but “alright” isn’t standard. It’s an error that has become so common that most people don’t notice or care, so I suppose one could argue that it’s become correct.
Obviously I’m not some grammar cop who will write you a ticket if you use it. But I will suggest that if you want to submit your writing to someone else, for example a book or magazine editor who you hope will publish your work, you’re always better off using the standard form.
And I agree with you that you need to watch editors very carefully to make sure they don’t change the meaning of your work. More commonly (in my experience), they preserve the meaning but can wreck the tone and voice. I’m actually not a fan of making writing so formal and correct that you wring all of the conversation out of it.
@Anna, for me there’s a difference between taking one’s time in prose and using words that are truly not needed. So a paragraph of description about a lake in summer might be very welcome, but I’d still strike “months” from summer, because it doesn’t add anything. For me, the more descriptive and leisurely the prose, the more important it is to get any “clutter words” out so your reader doesn’t lose patience.
I completely agree that different kinds of writing call for different tones and levels of formality, and that there’s no need to take your prose down to journalism-level sparseness if that isn’t your style!
@Santiago, what a lovely distinction, thank you!
I agree with all your tips.
Though, I do find it interesting that Skellie of skelliewag.org seems to have a practice of maintaining longer paragraphs in her writing on her blog.
Ive always wondered why her blog maintains that style. It doesn’t seem to bother me at all though.
Though, I think generally one should always strive for shorter paragraphs.
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(Saw via Twitter) Amen! Great tips, Sonia.
Some commenters may not realize you’re talking about copywriting and journalism, rather than fiction writing, where you can take as much time and as many words as you like. (Will someone please edit that run-on sentence? Thx.)
@Rachel A copywriter (or journalist) doesn’t want the reader to stop for anything, including looking up words in a dictionary. S/he wants them to keep reading — and then buy!
“Shirtsleeve English” gets your meaning across clearly and quickly. It’s more conversational, too, which makes it easier for the reader to relate to you.
Everything seems fine to me in regards to what you have to say about writing in English. However, I need to correct your comment about passive voice as it is used in French. In formal french writing, even more so than in formal English writing, passive voice is strictly avoided. It is just dealt with differently than in English; passive voice is either rewritten with a reflexive verb or with a general subject. For instance:
Passive: “The door was opened.” (”La porte a été ouverte.”)
Rewritten as:
Reflexive: “The door opened itself.” (”La porte s’a ouvert.”)
General S.: “One opened the door.” (”On a ouvert la porte.”)
I have to say, I’m pretty embarrassed with myself now…
I pride myself on my grammar and spelling and can be pedantic about it when other people get things wrong… but all this time I’ve been writing “alright” instead of “all right”! I’m devastated!
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I don’t want to imply that you’re tips are wrong, but-
These seems to be designed for editing a very specific type of writing, which is aimed at an equally specific audience. In literature, philosophy/theology, literary criticism, scientific journals, textbooks, and even many reviews (of music, art, literature, etc.), many of these simply don’t apply. Particularly in (some) literature, philosophy/theology, and literary criticism, many sentences are much longer than the type you recommend. Further, in my experience, no paragraph can successfully support an argument in only 3 or 4 sentences; most require at least 5 or 6, if not many more than that.
Also, “extra” words and passive voice can both be used incredibly effectively, provided the writer knows how to do so. Obviously, some of your examples display instances where the “extra” word is merely redundant; that doesn’t mean that pairing two different, but similar, adjectives or adverbs is excessive and unnecessary. In literature, sometimes even reduntant repetitions are desirable, depending on the style of the writing. I don’t completely disagree with what you’re saying here, but it only applies in certain circumstances.
And if someone doesn’t know what “prescient” means, I don’t care much if they read my writing or not.
You forgot to capitalize God.
Tom, I’ve edited a fair bit of fiction, and actually I think fiction writers are wise to take much of this to heart as well. Even writers we think of as wordy, say Faulkner or Pynchon, show tremendous discipline in their writing. They have a lot to say, and it’s complex, but the prose is controlled and careful.
Mintchkin, since my written French is truly pathetic, I will happily cede the point to you!
Louise, we are all aghast!
Interesting, Tim, but I don’t agree at all. Each of those forms benefits from clear, disciplined writing. I would instead suggest the line lies between communication and self expression.
Every experienced writer knows that sometimes it’s best to go against the usual “best practices.” But most casual writers don’t know what those best practices are, and the point of the post was to help those writers write more clearly and with greater professional polish.
Obviously this is an introduction, not a manifesto. And my guess is that the philosophers, scientific writers and literary critics who read this will have enough confidence to write their work in the way that’s worked best for them.
One thing I don’t hear about too often is the rhythm of writing and then ultimately, the rhythm of reading. So while I agree that less is better when it comes to writing, sometimes I will allow a longer phrase to stand just because it flows better when it’s read.
Take the example above: “completely destroyed.”. Yes, it’s redundant and sounds silly when you think about it, but saying it like this: “The bomb hit the ground and the house was completely destroyed” flows much better than “The bomb hit the ground and the house was destroyed”.
Just my opinion.
I don’t think it’s fair to say the work of most professional writers is underwhelming. There is, after all, a reason why writers are writers, and editors are editors.
May I recommend Orwell’s essay ‘Politics and the English Language’?
He said that careless writing causes confused thinking, so leads to mistaken government.
(I used to edit a magazine about the Stockmarket.)
I have to disagree with the insistence that alright must, and is always spelled as “all right”. Language is fluid. Language changes over time. According to Merriam-Webster the word alright has been in use a mere 75 years after the spelling “all right” regained usage. They list the date as 1887. Considering the word has been in use over a hundred years I think it would be more accurate to say that editors simply *prefer* “all right” over “alright” rather than insist it is the only correct form. Interesting reading follows below:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alright
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_change#Spelling_changes
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/langevol.html
Aside from that one specific nit-pick, I truly enjoyed these simple and nicely articulated suggestions. Thanks!
I always remember this phrase: “Dog bites man”. Not “Man was bitten by dog”.
@TimB
Before we delve into your intellectual snobbery here:
“And if someone doesn’t know what “prescient” means, I don’t care much if they read my writing or not.”
Can you clarify that this line here is a hilariously ironic joke at the idiot’s expense?
“I don’t want to imply that you’re tips are wrong, but”
I know it’s very wrong of me to laugh, and yet, I do.
Me like
Common sense is not that common. Also, it is a lot easier to review and correct someone else’s work – I never enjoyed reviewing my own writings.
I’d suggest you take a look at this book:
http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/contents.html
It’s clear, brief, and free.
Enjoy!
Good stuff!
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Great article. My “rule” on the passive voice turns on whether something useful to know has been concealed. “Bad writing is caused by excessive use of the passive voice” is not less informative than “Excessive use of the passive voice causes bad writing.”
“Mistakes were made” is unmistakably less candid than “We made mistakes”. In a former career, I heard “The gun went off” a lot more than “I fired the gun”.
I improve writing by questioning passive-voiced sentences. As I work to compose alternative sentences in subject-verb form I remove vagueness and add expressive force.
Kelly has a good idea. There are rhythms in prose, as well as in poetry. Some serious subjects merit a longer, flowing rhythm; others, a staccato style. An ironic article can be more effective if it combines the two, for shock value.
/Prescient/
A good writer, Hemingway perhaps, prefers the strength of a short word to the obscurity of a long one.
Newspaper headlines have space only for short words. I once suggested that Mr Bush re-name Iraq ‘Mesopotamia’, so that his problems in that country would stay off the front pages.
That was my Prescience to the President.
Are Creationists Pre-Science?
David, I resent your mention of Creationists. Personally, I have found no conflict between Creationism and Evolution, since evolution merely states that all organisms change and adapt to their environment over time and Creationism states that God created everything. Those that have actually studied evolution and not formed opinions from random bits of floating heresy understand that it is actually a mechanism by which Creationism could have taken place. If evolution was so terribly controversial when Darwin released his theory, why is he buried smack in the middle of Westminster Abbey?
Also, I agree that alright and all right have very different connotations.
The only point I don’t agree with is the shortening of sentences. I have had plenty of teachers and professors who like my work since I don’t cut corners. Shortening a sentence when it sounds fine when it’s almost as long as a paragraph makes no sense to me. Hell, some of the best books have extensive sentences.
Great article – the topic always generates debate about what’s right or wrong. Because languages change constantly and usages change rapidly, it’s always dangerous to decree what’s right or wrong.
In Australia, we obviously have our own quirks and preferences and so it goes wherever we travel. My Macquarie Dictionary, which sits patiently by my side, has no problems whatsoever with alright and neither do I.
Your tips though, for clearer writing, are excellent and sadly, so often ignored. For those who love reading, poorly structured writing can spoil the experience. For anyone who loves written language though, even worse is poor grammar which is like dental surgery.
Sadly, (and I’m sure this will start its own thread), from the country that gave us some of the best writing ever, it seems so many Americans just can’t spell. Seriously. Perhaps it’s just Americans on the Internet but I only want one cent for every time your/you’re is incorrectly used (I’m ignoring yore and yaw as I can’t say I’ve seen those used incorrectly).
All the other offenders appear too often; to/too, there/their/they’re, possessives, etc. and they also ruin the experience.
All that matters finally is the story. As I look at my bookshelves, I think about the styles and structures of the great authors and the one common thing they have is ‘a great story’.
While I understand and largely agree, I’m not sure about number 4 “Omit unnecessary words,” because (using your example) “four-year-old little girl” bring a much sharper image than simply “four year old”. And I’m certainly not saying that all sentences need to have little details like that, but it makes a much more interesting and vivid read to have details that give ones mind something to work with.